You're not in Kansas anymore....

Alternative Working Title: Why Kiwis Really Need a Permit to Operate Safely in Australia (even the relatively safe parts)

Alternative Alternative to the Working Title: There Should Be More Signage In This Country!

An excerpt from the personal file - for your mirth and entertainment.

You may not know this about me (or even care - I'm ignoring that possibility) but, I'm always up for an adventure. And, on the few occasions when these adventures extend past the parameters of my imagination, I like to include nature in the mix. I love nature!

In fact, I love it so much, that growing up I used to fantasise about living the whole Robinson Crusoe lifestyle. It's how I used to fall asleep, imagining myself surviving in the middle of Fiordland, replete with log cabin, suitable camping accoutrements, hunting expertise etc, writing about my daily life. No one believes me now, but I actually came up with the original concept of a Survivor/X-Treme Blog crossover back in the early '80's!

(Unfortunately, in a disappointing sidebar to this story, when I tried to 'run away' and make my really awesome dream a reality, Mum and Dad failed to see the genius behind the motivation. It set up a whole ugly scenario of parental self-chastisement, guilt, trauma, and tears that at age nine, I just hadn't seen coming! Maybe, because I'd bundled up all of Dad's coolest looking fishing lures to aid my survival...

At any rate, I still like getting out into a bit of nature - with or without parental supervision!)

However, my innocent feelings of being 'safe' and happy, bowling carefree through nature, have been dented a tad recently, by my experiences in this country. First, it was the leech falling into my mouth, whilst walking a section at Wilson's Prom (how does that even happen???). Then, it was the really big, weird biting insect incident down my long-johns, resulting in a chaotic, emergency 'down-trou' on an exposed ridge (don't ask! Okay, the answers are, a.) VERY exposed, b.) bitten all over the show, c.) no, the insect was fine, well, maybe slightly traumatised, but otherwise okay, and d.) yep). Now, another addition to the collection. 'Tis a cautionary tale to be sure.... but, I have to ask, is it too much to ask for ONE sign, people??! Just one!

Please, do watch the clip above, and see why many (many) Australians roll their eyes skyward (even snort with derision!), when a hapless kiwi happens to wander blithely through nature, trying NOT to make any noise, naively dangling both legs over rocks beside streams (as if they needed more reason!).

As for as the 'nature' itself, how awesome is it, huh? Colourful, mesmerising, and very beautiful - from a distance! Very awesome to see it all happen.

And yes, Mum, next time I will take a big stick, and a compression bandage. :)